170+ Funny Bagel Jokes & Puns One Liner (2025)

Ever noticed how bagels are like comedians? Always well-rounded, sometimes a bit twisted, and they’re best when they’re a little cheesy. When you like them plain, everything, or with a schmear of cream cheese, bagel jokes are the perfect way to add a sprinkle of laughter to your day.

In this article, we’ve handpicked the funniest bagel jokes and one-liners so grab a bagel, take a bite, and get ready to roll with laughter!

Top ‘Bagel Jokes’ – Best Picks

• Why did the bagel break up with the donut? It just needed some space it was feeling a bit crumby.
• What did the bagel say to its friend? “You’re my butter half!”
• Why did the bagel sit alone at the party? It didn’t want to be toasted.
• What’s a bagel’s favorite movie? “Lord of the Rings!”
• Why did the bagel go to therapy? It couldn’t handle the pressure of being so hole-some.
• What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plain bagel.
• Why did the bagel cross the road? To get to the other rye-d.
• How did the bagel propose? With a ring, of course!
• Why did the bagel go to school? To get a little bready for the future.
• What’s a bagel’s favorite type of music? Roll and rock.
• Why was the bagel so calm? It knew how to roll with it.
• What did one bagel say to the other during an argument? “Let’s not get into a twist.”
• Why did the bagel break up with cream cheese? It needed some space to spread its wings.

Clever ‘Bagel Puns’ – Best Picks

• I like you a hole lot.
• You’re the yeast I can do.
• Let’s roll with it.
• You’re on a roll today!
• Don’t be so kneady.
• You’re my everything bagel.
• It’s a breadful day, isn’t it?
• Hole-y smokes, that bagel looks good!
• Don’t worry, be bready.
• You bagel-ieve in magic?
• Life’s butter with you.
• Bready or not, here I crumb.
• You’re a hole mood.

Funny ‘Bagel One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny Bagel Jokes

• I loaf you more than bagels.
• That bagel has a hole lot of personality.
• You butter believe I’m a bagel fan.
• My love for bagels is knot a joke.
• Bagels always a hole-some choice.
• This bagel is on a roll.
• I’m feeling hole again, thanks to bagels.
• Keep calm and bagel on.
• I’m bread-y for anything with a bagel.
• You can’t make everyone happy you’re not a bagel.
• Bagels: the circle of loaf.
• I donut know what I’d do without bagels.
• Bagels the real MVP of breakfast.

Bagel QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Bagel

• Why did the bagel go to art school? To learn how to draw a dough-nut.
• What did the bagel say to the cream cheese? “You complete me.”
• Why did the bagel blush? It saw the toaster naked.
• What’s a bagel’s favorite sport? Roll-er skating.
• Why did the bagel go to the doctor? It was feeling a bit crumby.
• What did the bagel say to the butter? “You spread joy.”
• Why was the bagel always calm? It knew how to roll with the punches.
• What’s a bagel’s favorite dance? The roll and twist.
• Why did the bagel go to therapy? It had too many layers.
• How did the bagel cheer up its friend? “Don’t worry, be bready!”
• Why was the bagel a great comedian? It always knew how to roll with the jokes.
• What did the bagel say to its crush? “I’m falling for you — hole-heartedly.”
• Why did the bagel apply for a job? It wanted to bring home the bread.

Dad Jokes About Bagel: Pun-Filled Quips

• I’m on a roll with bagels.
• You bagel-ieve in love at first bite?
• This bagel is un-bread-ictable.
• The bagel was feeling a bit crumby.
• Bagels always bring a hole lot of joy.
• Let’s roll into the weekend with some bagels.
• Bagels the hole-y grail of breakfast.
• I butter up my bagels every morning.
• Bagels are the yeast of my problems.
• My bagel jokes are on a roll today.
• The bagel wasn’t worried it knew how to roll with life.
• I loaf bagels more than anything.
• Bagels always a twisty situation.

Bagel Jokes and Puns for Kids

• Why did the bagel go to school? To get a little bready.
• What do you call a musical bagel? A jam roll.
• How did the bagel fix its broken heart? With a dough-tor.
• Why did the bagel join the circus? It loved roll-er coasters.
• What’s a bagel’s favorite toy? A doughnut ring.
• Why was the bagel so happy? It had a hole lot of fun.
• What did the bagel say to its friend? “You butter believe in yourself!”
• Why did the bagel stop running? It didn’t want to get into a twist.
• What’s a bagel’s favorite game? Dough and tell.
• How does a bagel apologize? “I’m bready to say sorry.”
• Why did the bagel cross the road? To get to the other rye-d.
• What did the bagel say to the jam? “Let’s stick together.”
• Why did the bagel go to the zoo? To see the bread pandas.

Bagel Jokes and Puns for Adults

• Bagels are my main squeeze no butter needed.
• I like my bagels like my jokes a little twisted.
• The bagel broke up with the croissant too flakey.
• Bagels are the only thing I roll with.
• Hole-heartedly in love with bagels.
• Let’s get toasted with bagels.
• Bagels: The ring I actually want.
• My love life is a bagel full of holes.
• You’re the cream to my bagel.
• Bready or not, here I crumb.
• Bagels the real hole-y grail.
• Life’s too short for plain bagels.
• Bagels my kind of roll model.

Bagel Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media

• Why did the bagel break up with the bread? Because it kneaded some space!
• What did the bagel say to the butter? “You make everything butter!”
• Why did the bagel go to therapy? It had too many layers to deal with.
• How did the bagel win the race? It was on a roll!
• Why was the bagel always calm? It knew how to stay “hole”.
• What did the bagel say to the toaster? “You make me feel so warm inside!”
• Why did the bagel join the band? It was great at jamming!
• What did the bagel say to its friend? “You’re my everything!”
• Why was the bagel so confident? It had a “hole” lot of self-esteem.
• How did the bagel cheer up its friend? “Don’t worry, things will get butter!”
• What did the bagel say to the muffin? “Stop loafing around!”
• Why did the bagel start a blog? It wanted to share its “roll” models.
• What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plain bagel!

Dirty Bagel Jokes

• Why did the bagel blush? It saw the cream cheese spread.
• What did the bagel whisper to the butter? “Let’s get toasted tonight.”
• Why did the bagel break up? It couldn’t handle the extra topping.
• How does a bagel flirt? “Are you a bagel? Because you’re my everything.”
• Why was the bagel feeling naughty? It wanted to roll around with some jam.
• What did the bagel say to the knife? “Spread me, baby!”
• Why was the bagel so bold? It liked to get a little toasted.
• How did the bagel compliment the cream cheese? “You make me melt.”
• What did the spicy bagel say? “I like it hot and fresh!”
• Why did the bagel feel wild? It was feeling a bit crusty.
• What did the bagel say at the party? “Let’s roll and spread some fun!”
• Why did the bagel go to a date? To get buttered up.
• What did the bagel tell the toaster? “You really turn me on.”

Bagel Puns Thank You

• Thanks a “hole” lot, you’re amazing!
• I’m on a roll, thanks to you!
• You’re my everything bagel and more!
• A “hole”hearted thank you!
• Thanks for making life butter!
• You really know how to spread the kindness.
• You’re the cream cheese to my bagel perfect together!
• I “knead” to thank you properly!
• Thanks for keeping me “toasted” with your support!
• I’m so “glad” you rolled into my life.
• Thanks for being the jam to my bagel.
• You’re everything I could ask for like an everything bagel!
• I can’t “espresso” how much I appreciate you!

Cute Bagel Puns

• You’re the cream cheese to my bagel!
• Life is batter with you around.
• You’re a “hole” lot of fun!
• Let’s stick together like butter and bagels.
• I “knead” you in my life.
• You’re my jam sweet and perfect.
• You make my heart “roll” with joy.
• We go together like bagels and mornings.
• You’re “everything” to me, just like my favorite bagel.
• Butter believe you’re special to me.
• I’m “toasted” to have you in my life.
• Life without you is just plain like a bagel.
• You’ve got a “hole” lot of charm.

Funny Pen Puns & Jokes One Liner

Bagel Puns Love

• You have a “hole” place in my heart.
• We’re “butter” together.
• You’re the cream to my cheese.
• I’m “jam-packed” with love for you.
• You make my heart “roll”.
• Life is “everything” with you.
• Our love is like a bagel timeless.
• I’m “toasted” for you.
• We’re “kneaded” together.
• You make my heart feel warm and “buttered”.
• Let’s roll through life side by side.
• My love for you is not “plain”.
• You’re my “everything” bagel.

Bagel Puns for Teachers

• Thanks for helping me “roll” into success.
• You’re “everything” a teacher should be.
• Thanks for spreading knowledge like cream cheese on a bagel.
• You always “butter” me up with wisdom.
• I “knead” your lessons in my life.
• You’re a “hole” lot of inspiration.
• Learning with you is always a treat just like a bagel.
• You make the classroom feel warm and “toasty”.
• I’m on a roll thanks to you.
• Thanks for keeping me “jam-packed” with knowledge.
• You’re the cream to my academic success.
• Lessons with you are never “plain”.
• You’re the “everything” teacher I could ask for.

Key Insight About Bagel Jokes & Puns

1. What is bagel slang?
In slang, “bagel” can mean a score of zero in sports, like tennis, because a zero looks like a bagel. It’s also sometimes used to describe something round or a slow, easy day.

2. What is a cute quote about bagels?
“You’re the cream cheese to my bagel perfect together.”

3. Why do some people say bagel?
Some people say “bagel” in fun or exaggerated ways depending on their accent like “bay-guhl” or “bah-gel” turning a simple word into a quirky conversation starter.

4. What is a fun fact about bagels?
Bagels are boiled before they’re baked, giving them their shiny crust and chewy texture a unique combo that sets them apart from other breads.

5. Why do bagels have a hole in the middle?
Bagels have a hole to cook evenly inside and out, and it also made them easy to stack on sticks for selling in old street markets.

Final Thoughts

Bagels are more than just a breakfast staple; they’re a symbol of comfort, tradition, and creativity. When you like them plain Bagel Jokes & Puns, piled high with toppings, or just with a smear of cream cheese there’s a bagel for every mood. So next time you grab one remember  it’s more than a snack it’s a little circle of joy!