If you’re in need of a pick me up, or just craving a good old belly laugh, we’ve got you covered. This isn’t your average list of corny jokes this is your personal arsenal of dad jokes, cheesy puns, and icebreakers so sharp, even awkward silences get scared. We’ve scoured the world of humor to bring you the best of the best, all carefully selected and ranked based on your votes.
In this article, you’ll discover short and uproarious jokes that are guaranteed to brighten your day. From one liners to the most seriously funny jokes, get ready for some funniest jokes that deserve a thumbs-up icon—and maybe a few that “just wasn’t as good as expected.” Let’s update this list with laughter!
Highest Ranking Jokes
- Why did Jon Snow bring a pencil to battle? Because he wanted to draw his sword!
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
- Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
- I told my suitcase there would be no vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
- I don’t trust stairs—they’re always up to something.
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work!
- The calendar’s days are numbered.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
- I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
- Want to hear a construction joke? Oh… I’m still working on it.
Newly Added Jokes
- I made a pun about the wind but it blows.
- The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
- My dog loves classical music—especially when I play fetch.
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- I named my horse Mayo… and sometimes Mayo neighs.
- I’m no good at math, but I know that one pun plus another is too much.
- I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you!”
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
- I wanted to be a doctor but I didn’t have the patients.
- I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
- I told a joke about pizza… but it was a little cheesy.
- Never trust atoms—they make up everything!
Read More: Funny Economics Puns & Jokes One Liner
Funny Jokes
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field!
- I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m OK but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
- I was going to tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- I tried catching some fog earlier. I mist.
- Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.
- I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
- My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
- Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
The Best Corny Jokes
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
- I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
- My friend wants to become an archaeologist. His life is in ruins.
- I gave all my dead batteries away—free of charge.
- Don’t spell part backward. It’s a trap!
- I used to have a job as a professional cricket impersonator. It was a real chirp-off.
- What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
- I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together.
- Why do bicycles fall over? Because they are two-tired!
- I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
Corny Jokes to Share with Friends
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
- Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it’d be a foot.
- Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
- I told my friend 10 puns to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
- What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
- Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re a little shellfish.
- What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite.
- Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
Silly Corny Jokes
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
- How does a snowman get around? By riding an “icicle.”
- What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match!
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
- What did one plate say to another? Lunch is on me.
- What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
- Why was the broom late? It swept in.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
- How do cows stay up to date? They read the moos-paper.
- Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.
Short Corny Jokes
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
- Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
- I’m terrified of elevators. I’m taking steps to avoid them.
- I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her.
- Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it’s tearable.
- I used to be a baker… but I couldn’t make enough dough.
- I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.
- The man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is now a seasoned veteran.
- I once got into so much debt, I couldn’t even pay attention.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- How do cows do math? With a cow-culator.
Read More: Funny Peacock Puns & Jokes One Liner
Punny Corny Jokes
- I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
- I used to work for a blanket company, but it folded.
- What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room? The living room.
- I opened a bakery, but it didn’t rise to the occasion.
- I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make it on Tuesdays.”
- The fish in school always bring their scales.
- I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
- I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.
- I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach photos.
- My friend got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.
- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
- I broke up with my gym. We weren’t working out.
Funniest Jokes for Adults
- Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish!
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work!
- My friend wants to become an archaeologist, but his career is in ruins.
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
- Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
- The guy who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no-bell prize.
- I got fired from the orange juice factory — I couldn’t concentrate.
- My math teacher called me average — how mean!
- I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.
- What do you call a group of musical whales? An orca-stra!
Top Best Jokes Ever
- Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
- I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
Laugh Seriously Funny Jokes One-Liners
- I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
- I asked the gym if they could teach me to do the splits. They said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make it on Tuesdays.”
- My friend wants to become a vegetarian, but he’s still learning the ropes.
- I told my dog 10 jokes. He didn’t laugh once. Guess he’s more of a paw-litical animal.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
- Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
- I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
- The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
- I know a lot of jokes about retired people, but none of them work.
- Never trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
- I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
- I don’t trust people who do acupuncture — they’re back stabbers.
Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
- The bicycle couldn’t stand up by itself — it was two-tired.
- What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells.
- I would tell you a construction joke, but I’m still working on it.
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
- I used to be addicted to soap, but now I’m clean.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- I once heard a joke about a broken pencil… never mind, it’s pointless.
- My dog can do magic tricks. It’s a labracadabrador!
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
Terrible Jokes That Are Funny
- What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.
- Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
- I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.
- My friend got crushed by a pile of books, but he only has his shelf to blame.
- What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
- Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
- I made a pun about the wind, but it blows.
- Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Read More: Funny Nutcracker Puns & Jokes One Liner
Key Insight Seriously Funny Jokes
1. What makes a joke “seriously funny”?
A joke is “seriously funny” when it catches you off guard, blends smart humor with great timing, and makes almost anyone laugh — even those who usually don’t find jokes amusing.
2. Are seriously funny jokes appropriate for all ages?
Not always. Some might be clever and clean for kids and families, while others could include wordplay or mature themes meant for adults. Always check the context before sharing.
3. Where can I find seriously funny jokes?
You can find them in comedy shows, stand-up specials, joke books, social media, or curated joke websites. Some people even come up with their own brand of clever humor!
4. Can seriously funny jokes help break the ice?
Absolutely! A well-timed, genuinely funny joke can ease tension, spark conversations, and help build connections in social or professional settings.
5. Do comedians write seriously funny jokes or improvise them?
Both! Many comedians spend hours writing and perfecting jokes, while others are skilled at improvising based on audience reactions. The best ones mix both approaches.
Final Thoughts
Seriously funny jokes are more than just silly lines they show wit, creativity, and great timing. When you’re telling them to friends or just enjoying a laugh yourself, these jokes remind us that humor is a powerful way to connect and lighten the mood. So go ahead, share a laugh seriously! 😄
More Puns:
Best Primary Aged Children Puns & Jokes One Liner
Funny Noodle Puns & Jokes One Liner
Funny Caramel Puns & Jokes One Liner
Hi! I’m Zadie Smith, writer of punways.com, where I create puns and humorous wordplay that entertain and inspire. Check out my content at punways.com for clever jokes and witty humor!
